i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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