Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize