i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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