Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
