Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
