A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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