so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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