we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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