Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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