its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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