I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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