isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
