Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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