There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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