she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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