She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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