I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
