i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
