I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize