i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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