Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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