So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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