So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
