Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
