I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
