mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
