what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
