Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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