I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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