i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
