Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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