i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
