I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
