A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you will always have a special place in my vag
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
