went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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