thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
