Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
