My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
