i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
