We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
