I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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