You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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