best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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