Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
