I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
