this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
