I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
