Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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