Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
