people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
