..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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