Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My feet surprised me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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