God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
