That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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