So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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