where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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