It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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