thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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