Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
