he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
