i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
